Sodexo Blocks Workers’ Reunion Efforts

March 11, 2012

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CMail in a Better Place Now

March 10, 2012

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“CMail just…had to go away for a while,” said technician Albert Poile in an interview last week, “It’s safe and healthy and happy now. It’s running in green fields with all of its best friends: floppy disc, VCR, and rotary dial telephone.” “CMail is still alive…inside all of us,” added Poile, tearfully, “It’s the mayor […]

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RLH Changes Move-Out Date to March 23rd

March 10, 2012

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Students had previously been graciously granted 16 hours after the conclusion of finals to leave campus. “Everyone’s so busy after Thanksgiving that time spent in the residence halls drop dramatically, which makes it not worth our resources to even keep the halls open,” an RLH statement read. “But Easter time is so hectic around here we […]

Posted in: Clark News

Man Give Talk

March 10, 2012

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Not today man give talk. Me watch. Talk good. Talk make think hard. Talk on big thing. One part talk me not think good. But most good. For more bang with stick.

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Unidentified Couple Making Out in Sanford Basement Since 1965

March 10, 2012

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The Grind to be Remodeled after Upton Sinclair’s “The Jungle”

March 10, 2012

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U-REKA prize-winning junior Abigail Rosemary held this year’s big idea for improving the Clark campus community, and she’s ready to give the Grind the makeover of a lifetime. “‘The Jungle’ has been my favorite book since fourth grade,” says Rosemary, “I’ve always wanted to find a way to convey its visceral imagery and frenetic energy […]

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Outing Club: “Wherever We Stand, We Stand With New Hampshire”

March 10, 2012

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Posted in: Clark News, Headlines