Nobody told time-traveling exchange student the chicken dance is lame

Posted on January 14, 2012

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Clark University, which admirably endeavors to find representation of all cultures and time periods, experienced an unfortunate event three nights ago, when time-exchange student Garrison Foibles (Class of ’57) undertook a painstaking and totally lame rendition of the Chicken Dance at the BSU dance. Horrified onlookers quickly fled the premises.

Foibles has since sought help of CU’s time-travel coordinator, who urged the student, who would die in a car crash in 1968 leaving behind a wife and a young child, to tell peers that the act was “ironic”, a phrase which Foibles, whose wife would become a meth addict in his absence, did not fully grasp.

“I thought I was taking big steps by going to an integrated dance” said Foibles, whose father, who would outlive him by many decades, was the local chapter head of the Ku Klux Klan and would eventually gain custody of Garrison’s only child. “These future guys sure are hard to please.”

He intends on redeeming himself at BINGO tonight, while his daughter, who ran away from her grandfather and currently lives on the lamb with a biker gang in northern Nevada, is wanted on charges of arson and stealing $400 worth of prosthetic arms, by breaking out his Lucille Ball impression.

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Posted in: Clark News